My Open Letter to Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman
Dear Lori and Felicity,
I still remember the day the news of the college admissions scandal broke. While America still awaits the complete truth, it was hard not to feel some anger at the potential wrongs you have committed. If the accusations are true, some damage has been done to the reputation of exceptional universities, innocent leaders of those schools are being scrutinized, and most of all, students had university dreams shattered because your children took their spots. The blood, sweat, and tears I poured into achievement in high school- simply to be denied admission to my dream school- flashed before my eyes.
I felt a desire for justice. And yet I felt another emotion that crept in unannounced…
Granted, I didn’t break the law, but I was reminded of my own desire to rescue my child when rejection was inevitable or her dream was unachievable. I, too, have wanted to control my daughter’s future.
There is another parent, one from ancient history, whose story is strikingly similar to yours, and her name was Rebekah. She, too, desired status and acknowledgement for her child-her son- that didn’t belong to him. She, too, involved her child in a deceitful scandal, not lying to a university but to her own husband. She used her own wealth (of knowledge) to trick her husband into giving a firstborn blessing to her second born son. Devastation followed and the firstborn son’s heart was broken….his spot was stolen. This story about a mother whose motives seem to bear resemblance to your own is found in Genesis chapter 27 of the Bible.
As moms, our hearts bleed with a fierce and unmatched love for our children. I am sure almost all of us would give our lives for our children. How that plays out in daily life is what most mothers wrestle with, even without having the wealth and privilege you both have. And sometimes, we all blow it.
We send a teacher an angry email over our child’s poor grade…when they really deserved the grade.
We give our child a big trophy even when they lost…even though comforting and sitting with them in the loss would have helped them grow.
We blame our child’s conflict on another child…when in reality was our child contributed as well.
We rush to their aid when they’ve done something terribly wrong…when we really should allow them to face the consequence of their actions.
The gap between how we want to see our child or their accomplishments and the reality of what they have done or achieved is at times painful. But I’m reminded that it’s in this painful gap between expectation and reality that God can meet us. It’s at this juncture where our child faces loss, disappointment, or rejection, that God can become their hero. Our attempts at being one only fail. God sent His son Jesus to die on the cross so that when your child or my own faces heartache, they can know that they are chosen, accepted, and loved. Not because they get into a prestigious university, and not because of who they are…but because of who God is.
That mother, Rebekah, I told you about? Her son, Jacob, didn’t escape difficulties later in life. All of us learn as mothers that even if we wrongfully rescue our child from one difficult situation, another one is right around the corner. But Jacob did see redemption woven into his story. He humbled himself and received forgiveness from the brother whose firstborn spot he stole. And most of all, Jacob turned to God and produced a spiritual legacy far beyond what any man-made accomplishments could have achieved.
Forgiveness and redemption are not beyond you, Lori and Felicity, or beyond any of us moms who improperly extend our reach. You can receive forgiveness from God and build a far greater legacy than the pursuit of a prestigious school, even while facing consequences for your actions . You can also turn to a God who sees one of our greatest pains as a mother- our fear over our children’s future- and have greater fulfillment than what any worldly acceptance can provide.
I hope that truth is revealed, and justice prevails. And I pray that you know there is a God who can rescue you from the pit, no matter how deep you’ve gone.
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